English to be the official language of European Nations

Dennis Putnam dap1 at MINDSPRING.COM
Thu Aug 7 18:08:31 MDT 1997


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My son, a former member of Rushtalk, sent this to me. I thought others might
be interested. I don't know the source but if anyone is interested I will
find out and post it.

>
>The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
>reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
>communications, rather than German, whcih was the other possibility.  As part
>of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling
>had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for
>what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short)
>
>In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".  Sertainly,
>sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard "c" will be
>replaced with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typerwriters
>kan have one less letter.
>
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, then the
>troublesome "ph" will be replace by "f".  This will make words like
>"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>
>In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
>reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Govemments will
>enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to
>akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in
>the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
>
>By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by
>"z" and "w" by "v".  During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
>vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
>kombinations of leters.
>
>After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor
>trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>
>Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
>

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Dennis Putnam                   Public Key can be obtained from:
Loganville, Ga.                 <http://www.ilinks.net/~dap>



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