pool control

Jim Nantz jim at COTTAGESOFT.COM
Wed Feb 18 14:36:31 MST 1998

In a recent post Steve Maher posted the following statistics among others:

>From the National Self-Defense Survey, Gary Kleck, PhD, , Florida
State U., School of Criminology and Criminal Justice.  1-904-644-4050

  1,489 accidental gun deaths in 1991
   4,700 deaths by drowning

Almost 4 times as many people died by drowning than by accidents involving

To stop this tragedy we must ban swimming pools.  The vast majority of
these drowning deaths happened in pools so we must ban them in order to
save the lives of our children who drown in pools each year.  Now we will
face stiff oppositon from the extremist right wing pool lobby - those evil
profiteers of death who make thier blood money by installing pools.
Another group we can't neglect is the people who clean and maintain pools.
These purveyors of death keep a pool clean and sparkling therefore
increasing its appeal to the innocent children who are lured to their deaths.

Of course the pro pool lobby is very strong and the public isn't with us on
this yet.  We'll have to work for our goal in stages.

First we need to license pools.  At first a license should be easy to get
but we can tighten requirements later as children continue to die.

Our next step should be to require a permit to own a pool.  The license is
to install one.  The permit will allow the person to keep it.  The permit
must be renewed on a regular basis.  Of course at first there will be
little or no requirements for a permit at first But the requirements can be
strengthened later as people get used to the idea and children continue to
die.  Also once someone's permit is revoked the pool must be filled in.

To help our cause we must identify unlicensed pools and provide stiff
penalties for people who have an illegal pool

In the last phase pools will be so difficult to own legally.  Also by that
time we will have turned public opinion against pools.  We can work with
sympathetic producers in the entertainment industry so that movies and tv
shows are made that portray pool owners as mean spirited fanatics bent on
causing the death of children.  In such a production the ideal villan would
be a man who installs pools and has one at each of his expensive homes.

Together we can work to rid our nation of these sparkling blue deathtraps.

We don't need the religous right -- we already have a president that has
the morals of a TV Evangelist!

Jay Leno:

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