The little dutch boy - modern version

Tue Jul 13 21:33:29 MDT 1999

We've all at one time or another heard the story about the litle dutch
boy.  He found a hole in a dike and put his finger in there to plug the
leak. He stayed out all night until help arrived in the morning.

Here's how the story would go if it happened today.

A little boy was walking down a country road next to the dike.  Just
when he was ready to turn around and go home he saw a leak in the dike.
He didn't know what else to do so he put his finger in the hole and
stopped the leak until the next morning when a local farmer came out to
plant his tulips and saw the boy.  He picked up his cell phone and
called 911.

Within minutes the police arrived and took the little boy to the local
offices of the Child Protective Services.  They brought in a doctor who
examined the boy and determined the only thing he needed was some sleep.
After the doctor left the CPS invesagators interrogated the boy for six
and one half hours.  When they finished the interrogation they sent the
boy to one of their shrinks who determined the boy was the victim of
child abuse since he endured the cold, damp conditions all night rather
than going home.  Armed with the report a CPS case worker went to the
local judge and filed charges of felony child abuse against the
parents.  That same afternoon they were arrested and bail was set at $3
million each.

Meanwhle the farmer was concerned with the leaking dike.  Not only was
he afraid it would burst, but the salt water would kill his crops.  He
called the dike repair people, they came out and examined the dike and
told him they couldn't fix it until they finished a two week
environmental impact study; then they left.  The farmer went back to the
barn and got a gas powered pump and enough hose so he could throw it
over the dike.  He set everything up, started the pump and watched it
pump away the water.

While the little boy was with the shrink; a carload of EPA agents
arrived at the farm.  They confiscated the farmer's pump, and hose and
arrested him for potentially causing harm to the environment and not
waiting for the environmental impact study.  His bail was $100,000 and
when his trail concluded he got 5 years with no parole.  The parents of
the little boy were also convicted and they each got life without

While the trails were going on Sara Brady found out what had happened
and she reacted by calling a press conference and announcing she was
founding "pump and hose control inc."  She said her organization didn't
want to take sump pumps away from law abiding citizens.  She said she
just wanted to stop the unrestrained harm to the environment.

Not long after the trials had ended the dike burst.  Farms, villages and
homes were swept away and hundreds were killed.  Immediately the
government charged the contractor who built the dike and the cement
company that supplied the concrete for the dike with felony neglagence.
The lawyers didn't waste any time either.  They filed civil suits
against the contractor and the cement company asking for damages in the
amount of $6 billion from each company.  Eventualy both companies were
forced into bankruptcy and 5,000 people lost thier jobs.

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