PC football

Rob Loach deloges at JUNO.COM
Sat Oct 7 07:50:54 MDT 2000

(I can't remember whether I've sent you all the thing I'm sending below,
so if I have, sorry.) I'm certain that the members of RUSHTALK understand
the utter folly and social-engineering desires of political correctness.
I just had an interesting thought this morning about the even greater
folly of the whole thing. When we name something after someone, don't we
do it to *honor* them??? Wasn't Washington D.C. named such to *honor*
George Washington, rather than to mock him?!? (Although, what Washington
D.C. has become since then greatly dishonors our first president!) So why
in the world should some of these idiots be offended at some of these
things?! Rant ended....

Anyway, below are some PC football schedules for your enjoyment....

  =^..^=  =^..^=  =^..^=
Rob Loach in Greenville SC   deloges at juno.com
Visit my home page  http://homestead.juno.com/deloges/index.html

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart
enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.

The Politically Cleansed National Football League would like to announce
its name changes and some highlights in the scheduling for this season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People
on opening day.

Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St.
Louis Male Sheep, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the
Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 2, there are several key match-ups, highlighted by the showdown
between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans
Very Good People.

The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of
Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes
against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden.

The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa
Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9.

And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago

Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New
England Overly Zealous Lovers of Country.

BONUS HUMOR... The following is the College Entrance Exam -- Football
Scholarship Version* (Is "sports scholarship" an oxymoron?)

Time Limit: 3 weeks

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR-
give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. You would ask William Shakespeare to
         (a) build a bridge
         (b) sail the ocean
         (c) lead an army
         (d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?  (check only one)
         (a) Jewish
         (b) Catholic
         (c) Hindu
         (d) Polish
         (e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion.  How many feet is 0.0 meters?
        1)  1 M (meter) = 3.28 FT (feet)
        2) O M = 3.28 FT * X (ex)
        3) O M/X = 3.28 FT
        4) so X = 3.28 FTOM
           divide by 2.38
        5) X/3.28 = FTOM (fathom)
        6) since a fathom is 6 feet ...
        7) subtracting 3.28 feet gives 2.72 FT
        8) so to reduce 2.72 feet to 0.0 we must add
        9) - 2.72 feet
       10) huh?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is
on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in America's far north called?
         (a) Westerners
         (b) Southerners
         (c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter, and Clinton

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being
George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from?
         (a) Macy's
         (b) a 7-11
         (c) Canada
         (d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
         (a) yes
         (b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chatelier's Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell
your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of the USA produces the most oranges?
         (a) New York
         (b) Florida
         (c) Canada
         (d) Wisconsin

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?

19. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when
          (a) B.C.
          (b) A.D.
          (c) still waiting

20. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?

*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify.

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