AlGore's life story...

Rob Loach deloges at JUNO.COM
Thu Oct 19 07:01:56 MDT 2000


...as told by AlGore hisself....

Good afternoon. I'm Al Gore, and I'd like to tell you about myself. I
know a lot about hardship, because I came into this world as a poor black
child in a tiny town in the backwoods of Tennessee. I was born in a log
cabin that I built with my own hands. I taught myself to read by
candlelight and helped support my 16 brothers and sisters by working
summers as a deck hand on a Mississippi River steamboat.

My mother taught me the value of education, so every day I would walk 5
miles to a one-room schoolhouse. I was a mischievous, fun-loving scamp,
thought I never dreamed that one-day, my youthful escapades would serve
as the inspiration for "Huckleberry Finn."

Back then, black folks in the south were second-class citizens. One day,
a traveling minister came through town, and I asked him if anyone was
ever going to do something to guarantee civil rights for all Americans.
Well, I guess I made an impression. You see, the minister's name was
Martin Luther King, Jr.

My father was a United States Senator. He once perched me on his knee and
said, "Son, if you work hard and listen to your mama, someday you can
live in a hotel in Washington, D.C., and go to an exclusive prep school."
But a life of privilege was not for me. After getting my high school
diploma, I took a job in a hot, dirty textile mill. I was so appalled at
the treatment of the workers there that I organized a union. Later, that
experience inspired a movie - which is why, to this day, my close friends
at the AFL-CIO call me "Norma Rae."

When word got out what an 18 year old factory worker had done, Harvard
called and offered me a scholarship. I captained the hockey team to four
consecutive national championships, but I also played football and was
good enough to win the Heisman Trophy. During my college years, I lived
in a housing project and moonlighted playing lead guitar for a little
rock band. You may have heard of it - the Rolling Stones.

But there was a war going on, and I felt I had to serve my country. So I
enlisted in the U. S. Army and went to Vietnam. I was deeply opposed to
the war, but I did my duty as a soldier and came back home with the Medal
of Honor and the Croix de Guerre.

When I got back, I took a long journey across this great land of ours.
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, I've breathed the mountain air, man,
I've traveled, I've done my share, man, I've been everywhere. And the
people I met at truckstops and campgrounds and homeless shelters on that
journey all said the same thing: "Al, we need you in Washington."

I knew they were right, but first I had to take care of some other
business---building the World Trade Center, founding the Audubon Society,
doing the clinical research that proved smoking caused cancer, and coming
up with the recipe for Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies.

Finally, I deferred to the demands of the people of Tennessee and allowed
them to elect me to the House of Representatives and the Senate, where I
established the US Strategic Oil Reserve. And then one winter day nearly
eight years ago, for no particular reason, I answered the call of the
people once again and took the oath of office as Vice President of the
United States.

Since then, I've been part of the most successful administration in
American history. And, in my spare time, I invented the Internet. Many
times Bill Clinton has been pondering some grave decision and has asked
me what to do. And when I would give him my thoughts, he would invariable
say, "Of course. That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?" During
the darkest days of the impeachment battle, the president told me he only
wished he had listened when I told him to stay away from that dark-haired
intern.

So after I decided to run for president, I sat down with him and asked if
he had any suggestions about how to conduct my campaign. And Bill Clinton
gave me a few simple words of advice-words I'll never forget. He looked
me in the eye and he said, "Al, just tell the truth; it's always worked
for me."



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