Humor

Jim jnantz at INFICAD.COM
Fri Oct 20 23:03:29 MDT 2000


On Thu, 19 Oct 2000, Jose Rojas wrote:

> I like big cars, sports, and naked women.

Why does this remind me of Doug?  Speaking of Doug, has anyone heard from
him lately?

> I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
> mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to
> give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

Well said.

> I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English.
> Otherwise, go wash some dishes where you don't have to talk.

Can't argue with that.

> I want to know when MTV became such crap.

About the same time they stopped showing videos and started showing innane
game shows.

> I don't think the Taco Bell dog is funny.

Dittos

> I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or
> fat-free on the package.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

> I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or Gods, and
> they should be able to do it in school.

Regardless of what the liberals do; there will be always be prayer in
schools as long as they have exams.

> I think John Wayne was a hero.

Dittos.

> I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a
> Play Station.

This man's a genius.

> I want to know which church is it exactly where the Rev.  Jessie Jackson
> preaches.

A man after my own heart.

> I think explosions are cool.

A favorite of mine is to get an empty 2 liter pop bottle and put some
water in it, maybe 1/4 full.  Next put some chunks of dry ice inside,
close the lid and run.  Sounds like an M80 when it goes off.  Besides the
cops can't do anything because there were no fireworks involved.

> I don't care where Ellen Degeneres puts her tongue.

Damm!  I just ate before I read that.  I guess I don't have to count the
calories from supper tonight.

> I think Rob Reiner can kiss my @ss.

I was going to say that the Meathead can stifle himself.

> I think turkey bacon sucks.

YES!

> I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out
> that when I watch a freeway chase, I know without a doubt that the
> losers the police eventually pull out of the car are gonna be a
> gang-banging hommies or non-English speaking illegals.

Love it, Love it, Love it!

> I sometimes throw my soft drink can in the trash, even when the recycle
> bin is just a few more steps.

What's a recycle bin?



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