PC Version of 12 Days

wbwhite wbwhite at MADBBS.COM
Fri Dec 21 03:54:05 MST 2001

Politically correct version???

 On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave
to me:

 TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

 ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in
good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their
contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

 TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
class system leaping,

 NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-statement,

 EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from
enslaved Bovine-Americans,

 SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

 SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal

 FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic

 (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red
paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge
have been
reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American
enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

 FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

 THREE de constructionist poets

 TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree

 ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

 Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. (unless otherwise prohibited by law)

 *Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonal Affective

 If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for
with suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.

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