Here's a little nastyness on Christmas Eve
suerojas at MINDSPRING.COM
Mon Dec 24 09:17:26 MST 2001
If Santa answered your letters honestly.
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send
you a f***ing book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older
brother the space ranger. At least he can spell.
I have been a good girl all year,and the only thing I ask for is peace and
joy in the world for everybody!
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding
in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most
of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly
while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our house? Love,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky" that's why you're getting your ass
kicked at school. Second you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars
do, through your bedroom window.
These came from twisted humor, but in case you don't read that site, I
wanted to share. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and prosperous
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