suerojas at MINDSPRING.COM
Sun Feb 11 18:53:20 MST 2001
This came from Jokes2U.com . I thought it was interesting/funny. If it's a
repeat, oh well, sue me. ;o)
The New Preamble
"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt
ridden, delusional, and other liberal, bedwetters. We hold these truths
to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill
of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any
other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This is a
free country. You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If
you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens,
don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a
life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk
their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to
fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world
and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every
little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all
of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is
a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many people as
you can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you
should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common sense
is allowed to flourish - call it the age of reason revisited. Thank you
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