Humor: US Sub Attacked by Japanese Fishing Boat

Jose Rojas jrojas at MINDSPRING.COM
Fri Feb 16 10:15:37 MST 2001


US Sub Attacked by Japanese Fishing Boat!!
American Crew Shaken, Annoyed at Need to Repair Hull.
President Bush Calls Incident "A Day That Will Live in Inflammation!"

By CL McGonigle

"Shit, it's Pearl Harbor all over again!," said one USS Greenville
crewmember.

Oahu, Hawaii---In an exclusive, BSNN.net has learned, along with every other
news
agency in the world, that the nuclear submarine USS Greeneville was attacked
by a
Japanese fishing trawler as it surfaced from below the ocean, approximately
nine miles
south of Oahu.

An American crew member described the incident saying, "Horrible. Truly
horrible. We
were just cruising around innocently with with our nuclear warheads, when
all of a
sudden, these crazed rice-munchers rammed us."

"Oh Shit, it's Pearl Harbor all over again!," he exclaimed as he calmly lit
a Marlboro.

The Ehime Maru, the fishing trawler that foolishly attacked the submarine,
sank quickly
in choppy seas.

"Yeah, the Japs never learn," said Greeneville Commander John "Hammer
Slammer" Hammerslammer.
"They tried this crap in '41, and actually were pretty damned successful,
considering they bombed
the crap out of us. But we showed 'em. And we've learned a thing or two
since then."

"But this is horrendous," continued the exasperated skipper. "I mean, sweet
and sour Jesus with
 a side order of spare ribs, do you know how long it will take to repaint
the hull where they
scraped us?! Hours, man!! And we had a group table reserved at Hooters!"

President Bush, upon hearing of his first international incident as
President, formally declared
war on Japan, calling the incident a "day that will live in inflammation!"

He then retreated to Camp David with his military strategists, to drink beer
and watch
the XFL.

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