Just in case you are having a "bad day"...

wbwhite wbwhite at MADBBS.COM
Fri Feb 1 04:10:36 MST 2002

These snippets were a hoot!


Richard A Whitenight wrote:

>  The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
> spill in Alaska was $80,000.  At a special ceremony, two of the most
> expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
> and applause from onlookers.  A minute later, in full view, they were
> both eaten by a killer whale. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles
> made an attempt on the world flagpole sitting record.  Suffering from
> the flu, he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record.  His
> sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him, and his phone and
> electricity had been cut off. A woman came home to find her husband in
> the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running
> from his waist towards the electric kettle.  Intending to jolt him
> away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a hand plank of
> wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two pieces.  Until that
> moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman. Two animal
> rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to
> the slaughterhouse in Bonn.  Suddenly the pigs (all two thousand of
> them) escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two
> hapless protesters to death. And finally ... Iraqi terrorist, Khay
> Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.  It came back
> with "Return to Sender" stamped on it.  Forgetting it was the bomb, he
> opened it and was blown to bits. There now, your day's not so bad, is
> it?
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