WS>>A whole new ballgame:

carl william spitzer iv cwsiv_2nd at JUNO.COM
Fri Apr 18 22:13:37 MDT 2003

     by KittKat411 at

     Dear  Saddam Hussein and Sons; remaining Taliban  and  Osama
     Bin Laden:

     We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your
     challenge   to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now  that
     we  understand the rule,  that there are no rules,  we  look
     forward to playing without them for the  first time.

     Since  this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately  are
     unable to  invite you to join us at the victory celebration.
     But rest assured that  we will toast you -- LITERALLY. While
     we will admit that you are off to  an impressive lead, it is
     however  now our turn at the plate. By the way,  we will  be
     playing on your diamond now... Batter up!

     Our team line up is as follows:

     Club Owner ~ God
     Manager ~ George W. Bush
     Ass't Manager ~ Dick Cheney
     Head Coach ~ Colin Powell
     Assistant Coach ~ Donald Rumsfeld
     Starting Pitcher ~ Tommy Franks
     1st Base ~ U. S. Marine Corps
     2nd Base ~ U. S. Navy
     3rd Base ~ U.S. Air Force
     Shortstop and clean up hitter ~ U. S. Army
     Outfield ~ Firemen and Policemen
     Umpire  ~  None Required - remember - the manager  gave  you
     ample time to
     forfeit the game. Now it's too late for discussion. He  told
     you there'll  be
     no further negotiations or diplomacy!

     Pinch hitters as needed ~
     U.S. Navy SEALS
     U.S. Army Green Berets
     U.S. Army Rangers
     U.S. Air Force PJs
     Delta Force
     And, since there are no rules, we've decided to add:
     4th Base ~ United Kingdom and
     5th Base ~ Spain

     Opening Ceremonies:
     Vocal  1:  The Star Spangled Banner. Ya'll stand,  face  the
     American flag and
     place your right hand over your heart and sing.
     Vocal 2: Lee Greenwood ~ God Bless The U.S.A.
     Vocal 3: Neil Diamond ~ Comin' To America
     Vocal 4: Bruce Springstein ~ Born In The U.S.A.
     Vocal  5: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ~ Battle Hymn  of  the

     You  may choose whoever you want for your team ... France  I
     know  has been  coaching you and Germany, Russia  and  China
     will  at  least be cheering for  you. You can even  get  the
     Dixie  Chicks to sing your national anthem. You  might  even
     find  some  human shields in Hollywood. There are  many  EX-
     movie   stars  who seem to really love you.  I'm  sure  they
     would  like to play on  your team and we'll be glad  to  let
     you have them.

     It  won't  really matter how many useful idiots you  get  on
     your  side and  (even if you all shave), our guys are  gonna

     On  behalf of the 270,000,000 Citizens of the United  States
     of America

     May  we  recommend at this time that you give your  soul  to
     Allah;... 'cause  your ass is ours! Goodbye!

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