Jim jnantz2 at 216-19-216-16.GETNET.NET
Wed Mar 17 00:11:40 MST 2004

Recently I ran fortune on my linux box and got the following:

Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other,
admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright
piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes to each
other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your Christmas tree
ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their
drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with inanimate
objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down other peoples'
drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in
the upright piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike.

Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over their naked
bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning Christmas tree. The
piano is missing.

You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless you rent your
home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level 4. The best way to
get to level 3 is egg-nog.

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