Why did the chicken cross the road?

Richard A Whitenight rum.runner at JUNO.COM
Tue Aug 1 02:55:00 MDT 2006

M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at
the time. 
George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that
he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only
serving their interests. 
Colonel Sanders: I missed one? 
Plato: For the greater good. 
Aristotle: To actualize its potential. 
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. 
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes
also across you. 
Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it
would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of
its own freewill. 
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. 
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. 
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road? 
The Sphinx: You tell me. 
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. 
Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death. 
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. 
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. 
Saddam Hussein #1: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. 
Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens. 
Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been told!

OJ Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time. 
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