Instructions for airline passengers

Thu Aug 10 17:53:39 MDT 2006

The way things are going, here's what someone boarding an airliner will 
have to deal with in the future.

Procedure for boarding an airliner.

1. No carry on anything.

2. Before boarding the aircraft you will be required to strip naked and 
place all your clothing in a bag so that it will be placed with the rest 
of the cargo.  You will be fingerprinted so that your identity can be 
verified when you reclaim your clothing, wallet, purse, etc at your 

3. Next you will be issued a robe to cover yourself.  The airline will 
issue you a robe that has been cleaned and certified free of anything 
that can be used to make an explosive.

At this point you will be allowed to board the aircraft.

4. As you enter the aircraft, you will be required to head straight to 
your assigned seat.

5. If you need to use the restroom, head to the restroom, remove your 
robe and hang it on the door, enter the restroom and do your business.

6. Upon exiting the restroom, put your robe back on and go back to your 
assigned seat.

7. Upon arriving at your destination you will leave the plane and 
proceed to a secured area where you will wait until your clothes, 
wallet, purse, etc are retrieved.  Upon verifying your fingerprint, you 
will be given your items.  Once you have dressed, you will be allowed to 
go to the baggage claim area, home, whatever.


"I have this theory that people get promoted to management because 
they're crap at any other job."
- Roger Twiggy Day

"It's 3 in the morning.  Do you know where your Kennedys are?"
- Sean Hannity

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