Global Fantastic Nonsense!
John A. Quayle
blueoval57 at VERIZON.NET
Tue Oct 30 22:52:16 MDT 2007
VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: The real cure for global warming
There are some who, lacking the ecstatic
thrill of any other faith-based religion, wish to
believe that the Earth is in the early stages of
an unprecedented climatic change which will see
temperatures soar, the polar ice caps melt,
rising sea levels flood our coastal cities --
general devastation on the biblical model -- all
because we insist on driving petroleum-fueled
private automobiles and using electricity generated by burning coal.
Burning that stuff releases into the
atmosphere large amounts of carbon dioxide, you
see, a "greenhouse gas" that contributes to the ongoing warming of the planet.
Now, this is almost entirely fantastic
nonsense. The planet is currently warming at a
rate of perhaps one degree a century, part of an
ongoing cycle of global warming and cooling which
(ice cores and other fossil records tell us) has
been ongoing for millions of years. This is
caused not primarily by CO2 levels -- changes in
atmospheric CO2 loading actually trail
temperature shifts by decades or even centuries
-- but rather by fluctuating solar activity. Even
if CO2 were a factor, most of the CO2 in the
atmosphere comes from volcanoes and the natural
processes of the oceans, not from man-made sources.
Since wiping out mankind would have a
minimal impact on climate, what good do you think
a few rich folk switching to "hybrids" will do?
If warming continues at the present
rate, the most significant impact is likely to be
a small increase in the amount of previously
frozen ground on which people could grow wheat.
The global warming hysteria will be
remembered as one of those episodes of "the
madness of crowds" which saw bands of flagellants
wandering Europe urging folks to finish work on
those cathedrals real soon because the world was
going to come to an end at the millennium, in
1,000 A.D., and the minor panic of Oct. 30, 1938,
when numerous radio listeners were taken in by
the realistic Orson Welles broadcast of "The War of the Worlds."
The difference from those earlier
episodes of mass folly, however, is that there is
a group of folks with an ulterior motive beating
the drums for this one. These are jealous
socialists who want America to be a lot more like
Europe, punishing "rich people" for the gall of
freely driving where they want, when they want,
in their "wasteful" private automobiles. This
gang wants prohibitive taxes on cars and
gasoline, with the money to be shifted into mass
transit boondoggles that will require us all to
enjoy much more togetherness, singing "Kumbaya"
in three-part harmony as we live in quaint urban
walk-ups and ride around packed into little tin
trolley cars in a neater, tidier world a lot more
like Sweden, or possibly the Beatles' "Magical Mystery Tour."
These people still say they're fighting
"to protect the environment." But they've pulled
off a massive shift, largely unnoticed, in the meaning of that word.
It used to be that we said we wanted to
improve man's life by cleaning up man's
environment. We wanted to reduce sulfuric fumes
in the air and toxic crap in the water, the same
way we'd try to train a particularly slow-witted
kitty-cat not to poop in his own food bowl.
By "the environment" we meant "mankind's
environment" -- the fresh air and clean water and
green trees that make our human lives healthier and more pleasant.
Last weekend, however, the
Review-Journal ran an editorial ridiculing the
radical greens for fighting a pipeline needed to
transport drinking water to Las Vegas from east
central Nevada by using their usual cat's paw --
insisting the plan would damage some obscure minnow in some pond in Utah.
"It appears that the R-J editorials have
hit a new low," wrote one of these characters.
"The childish, blind-eye editorial in Sunday's
paper was pathetic. Apparently whoever wrote (and
approved it) feels that man is the only thing on
earth worth saving ... and damn the environment if it gets in their way!"
So now "the environment," as used by
these zealots, no longer means "the environs of
mankind, which make mankind's life healthier and
more enjoyable" -- presumably including plenty of
clean drinking water. Rather, the term has been
skinned and cured, turned into sheep's clothing
and draped over a lurking wolf. The term is now
used to mean "pristine nature, a beautiful thing
which is endangered by the ongoing prosperity and
procreation of human beings, a foul invasive
enemy whose numbers need to be reduced through
thirst and other means to protect each weed and bug."
That's a big change, worth remembering
the next time you're tempted to say, "Of course
we all consider ourselves environmentalists ..."
But, all that said, let's pretend for a
moment we agree that Earth is heating up, as
punishment from the Goddess Gaia for our hubris
in daring to tame the wilderness, putting in
stand-alone houses and sewage lines and Wendy's drive-through windows.
If these Chicken Littles really believed
this, what would they be doing? They'd be looking
for proven ways to really cool things down, of course.
How about examining the historical
record for the approximately 200 years for which
we have reliable weather data? Look to see if
there was a period when the weather cooled down,
all of a sudden, and what caused it.
Google "Year Without a Summer." From
April 5 to 15, 1815, Mount Tambora on the island
of Sumbawa in the Dutch East Indies (modern-day
Indonesia) blew up, ejecting 40 cubic kilometers
of volcanic ash (more than twice as much as the
1883 explosion of Krakatoa) into the upper atmosphere.
Other volcanoes -- La Soufrière on Saint
Vincent in the Caribbean in 1812 and Mayon in the
Philippines in 1814 -- had already built up a
substantial amount of atmospheric dust.
That stuff stayed up there, in the jet
stream, for more than a year. Sunlight was
reflected off that orbiting cloud of crap and had
trouble getting through. The "Year Without a
Summer," known colloquially as "Eighteen hundred
and froze to death," was 1816, in which severe
summer climate abnormalities destroyed crops in
Northern Europe, the American Northeast, eastern Canada and even China.
In May, frost killed off most of the
crops that had been planted. In June, two large
snowstorms in eastern Canada and New England
resulted in many human deaths. In July and
August, lake and river ice were observed as far south as Pennsylvania.
In Europe, food riots broke out and
grain warehouses were looted. A recent BBC
documentary tallied up 200,000 deaths.
Clearly, if anyone believes Earth is
warming catastrophically and that we need to do
something, the only proven solution is to start
throwing as much crap into the atmosphere as we possibly can, right now.
Clean nuclear and natural-gas-fired
power plants must be shut down and immediately
replaced with coal plants burning the softest,
dirtiest coal -- peat would be better -- that can
be found. "Smog inspections" will take on a new
meaning as our cars will be checked regularly to
make sure each is pouring out the densest
possible cloud of carbon particulates and lifesaving black soot.
Since every little bit counts, we may
also have to make tobacco smoking mandatory for everyone above the age of 10.
Now is not a time to hesitate, to refuse
to make the minor sacrifice of breathing some
slightly less healthful air. Global warming is a
crisis, baby! It's time we all set aside our
selfish desire to keep our yard furniture free of
drifting soot and share the sacrifice! Think
globally; act locally. Do your part!
Pollution -- massive, smoky pollution -- is the only answer!
P.S. -- This is actually going to happen, whether
we like it or not. The explosion of the
Yellowstone caldera, already overdue, will make
Tambora look like a kid's sparkler. The real
ecological challenge of the coming age will be global cooling.
Vin Suprynowicz is assistant editorial page
editor of the Review-Journal and author of the
novel "The Black Arrow." See
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
-------------- next part --------------
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.503 / Virus Database: 269.15.14/1100 - Release Date: 10/30/2007 6:26 PM
More information about the Rushtalk