Divorce Agreement

John A. Quayle blueoval57 at VERIZON.NET
Sat Feb 21 21:24:54 MST 2009

>This was written by a law student and I couldn't have said it better.
>Divorce agreement
>Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, 
>Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
>We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest 
>election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know we 
>tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, 
>but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
>Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on 
>what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile and 
>chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
>Here is a model separation agreement:
>Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking 
>a portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides 
>can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be relatively 
>easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets 
>since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
>We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.  You
>are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.  Since you hate guns and 
>war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.  You can 
>keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, 
>responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three 
>of them).
>We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, 
>Wal-Mart and Wall Street.  You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, 
>hippies and illegal aliens.  We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, 
>greedy CEO's and rednecks.  We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and 
>Hollywood .
>You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to 
>invade and hammer places that threaten us.  You can have the peaceniks and 
>war protesters.  When our allies or our way of life are under assault, 
>we'll help provide them security.
>We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values... You are welcome to Islam, 
>Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but 
>we will no longer be paying the bill.
>We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take 
>every Subaru station wagon you can find.
>You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. 
>We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
>We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm 
>sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to 
>Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
>We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty 
>your best shot.. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, 
>our name and our flag.
>Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded 
>liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit 
>delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of 
>us will need whose help in 15 years.
>John J.  Wall
>Law Student and an American
>P.S.  Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
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