[Rushtalk] Passport application letter

Carl Spitzer Winblows at lavabit.com
Thu Jun 13 20:15:18 MDT 2013


----- Forwarded Message -----
From: RONALD WIEDENHEFT <uddarkside at sbcglobal.net> 

        I can't verify the following, but I most definitely can resonate
        to the sentiments expressed!
        George / Dad
        Passport Application Letter – Hilarious
        Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir: 
        I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot
        believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and
        telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in
        1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still
        asking me where I was born and on what date? 
        For Christ's sake, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of
        computers?  My birth date you have in my social security file.
        It's on EVERY income tax form I've filed for the past 30 years.
        It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's
        license, it's on the last eight damned passports I've had, it's
        on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out
        before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And
        it's on all those census forms that we have to do at election
        Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
        mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm
        reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change
        between now and when I die?  
        Between you and me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic
        bullshit!  You send the application to my house, then you ask me
        for my address. 
        What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic
        Neanderthal morons working there! 
        Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I
        don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want
        to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please
        tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a
        farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something
        weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell
        not want to tell anyone!  
        Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of
        the city and get another copy of my birth certificate, to the
        tune of $100. Would it be so difficult to have all the services
        in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? 
        No, that would require planning and organization. And it would
        be too logical for the incompetent government. You'd rather have
        us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut
        Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it's really
        me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
        allowed to smile. 
        Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!  
        Signed- An Irate Citizen.  
        P.S. Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that
        the picture is me? 
        Well, my family has been in the United States of America since
        1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years
        and have had security clearances up the yingyang. 
         However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am -
        you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN
        And you assholes want to run our health care system?????

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