[Rushtalk] The Affordable Boat Act

Steven Laib stevenlaib at sbcglobal.net
Mon Nov 11 13:02:35 MST 2013


Everyone, 

The following item was circulated by the Cypress, TX Tea Party group.  Hope you enjoy it. 

SDL

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The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Boat Act"
declaring that every citizen MUST
purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost  an
average of $54,000-$155,000 each.
 
This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration
fees, fuel,  docking and storage fees,
maintenance or repair costs.
 
This  law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and 
financially responsible people have been able to purchase
boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat
of their own, because everyone is entitled to a new  boat.
 
 If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will  receive 4
"free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.
 
In order to make sure everyone purchases an  affordable boat, the costs of
owning a boat will increase on average of  250-400% per
year. This way, wealthy people will pay a little more for something  that other
people don't want or can't afford to maintain.
 
But  to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will be
regularly fined, and children (under the age of  26) can use their 
parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then  must purchase their  own
boat.
 
If you already  have a boat, you can keep yours  (just kidding; no you can't).
If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow.
If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800
until you  purchase one, or face imprisonment.
 
Failure to use the  boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert,
ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are
not exempt.  Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are
acceptable excuses for not using your  boat.
 
A government  review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, 
starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide everything, including; 
when, where, how  often and for what purposes you can use your boat  along with
how many people can ride your boat, and determine if one is  too old
or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your
boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you must purchase specific accessories,
like
a $500 compass, or a newer and more expensive boat.  Those who can afford yachts
will be required to do so ... it's only fair. The government will also
decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in
fines and possible imprisonment.
 
Government officials are exempt  from this new law. If they want a boat, they
and their families can  obtain boats free, at the expense of  taxpayers.
Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations are also
exempt.
  
 
 
 
 
 
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