[Rushtalk] A Thank You Letter From Hamas to the Media
lynux at keepandbeararms.com
Sun Aug 31 18:25:47 MDT 2014
A Thank You Letter From Hamas to the Media
July 25, 2014 by Noah Beck 19 Comments
Noah Beck is the author of The Last Israelis, a doomsday thriller about
the Iranian nuclear threat and current geopolitical issues in the Middle
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hamas_lebanon_0224Dear Members of the Mainstream Media,
You’ve been awesome! Everyone knows that we start unwinnable wars with
Israel because the real victory happens when you predictably side with
us each time. And you’ve been so supportive of our strategy that we
really want to acknowledge your helpfulness. In particular, we thank you
-Focusing so much more on our suffering than anyone else’s. Nigerians
must die in far greater numbers before you take notice, so we’re glad
that you value our lives so much more.
-Minimizing your coverage, if any, of our attacks that led up to
Israel’s military response and generally providing so little context
that outsiders think that Israelis kill Palestinians just for fun. We’re
especially grateful to the French media for this. Their distortions of
the conflict are so one-sided that they incite Muslims across France to
attack Jews and synagogues, and that is welcomed by our anti-Semitic
worldview (although, unfortunately, such attacks remind everyone why
Jews need a state).
-Emphasizing our civilian death toll without explaining that (1) our
casualty reports are hasty and inflated, and (2) we maximize that total
by using Palestinians to shield our weapons and by urging them to stay
in the very areas that the IDF — in its annoying effort to minimize our
civilian deaths — warns Gazans to evacuate.
-Never mentioning the fact that if we could kill millions of Israelis,
we would (after all, our charter calls for Israel’s destruction). Just
as the 9/11 hijackers made the most of what they had but would have
liked to kill far more Americans (for example, with the help of WMD), we
too would love to kill far more Israelis. Indeed, we have purposely
targeted Israel’s nuclear reactor on several occasions, with that very
goal in mind. Fortunately, you never highlight the genocidal intent
behind our attacks when mentioning Israel’s “disproportionate” response.
-Never calling us jihadists even though we persecute Christians (like
the ISIS, which just compelled Mosul’s Christians to convert to Islam).
The forced conversion, expulsion, or murder of Christians and other
religious minorities by Islamists has been happening for millennia, as
assiduously documented in Crucified Again, but such historical context
is thankfully absent from your reporting on our conflict with Israel.
-Downplaying how bad we are for Gazans by not reporting on, for
example, our attack on the very Israeli power station that provides
electricity to 70,000 Gazans. Thankfully, you also ignored how
the Israelis — in their stupid display of goodwill — exposed their
workers to the perils of our rockets so that they could restore power to
-Minimally reporting on our corruption, unfair wealth, or vast
expenditures on tunnels to attack Israel while ordinary Palestinians
-Overlooking how — to maximize Palestinian deaths — we store our
missiles in an UNWRA-run school and how, when UNWRA finds out, they just
hand us back our missiles.
-Disregarding Arabs who have the courage to critique us — like Dr.
Tawfik Hamid, an Islamist-turned-reformer who blames Palestinian
suffering entirely on us.
-Ignoring Israelis’ humanitarian folly in providing medical aid to the
very terrorists trying to kill them.
-Failing to acknowledge Israel’s immense restraint. Had we been fighting
Syria’s Assad regime, by now Gaza would have been flattened — devastated
by barrel bombs, poison gas, and other attacks that are far more
indiscriminate than Israel’s intelligence-directed strikes. And of
course, if Syria were killing us, you’d hardly care. But luckily, we’re
dealing with Israel — that country that everyone loves to hate — so we
can count on your helpful coverage here.
-Omitting how Israel chose to sacrifice dozens of IDF soldiers when
destroying our tunnels and weapons in densely populated areas
like Shejaiya because doing so with airstrikes (which risks no soldiers)
would have killed many thousands of Palestinians. Your friendly omission
of such crucial facts reminds us of how wonderfully you covered Jenin in
2002, when (again) — rather than praise Israel’s humane but costly
decision to use ground troops rather than airstrikes – you very
helpfully and falsely accused Israel of a massacre during another IDF
operation to stop Palestinian terrorist attacks on Israeli civilians.
-Not sharing with your English readers what we openly say in Arabic:
that we view any truce as just an opportunity to rearm for our next war
against Israel (as our spokesman, Musheer Al Masri, recently declared on
-Not underscoring that Israel can do nothing to make peace with us
(after all, Israelis ended their occupation of Gaza in 2005 and we’ve
been rocketing them ever since). It’s a bit nervy of Israel to use its
border controls to limit our ability to rearm and rebuild cross-border
attack tunnels, but — with your help — maybe the next cease-fire will
remove Israel’s blockade so that we can more easily replenish our
weapons and restore our tunnels for our next attack. And yes, we’re
embarrassed that our fellow Arab Muslims in Egypt also choose to
blockade us because of the problems that we’ve caused them.
-Not reminding readers, when you mention potential truce arrangements,
that world powers are no more capable of ensuring a demilitarized Gaza
than they were capable of disarming Hezbollah in south Lebanon.
Seriously, you’ve been AMAZING. Please keep it up!
p.s. Many thanks also to the countless protesters around the world who
follow your lead, embolden us, and make us look legit!
Noah Beck is the author of The Last Israelis, an apocalyptic novel about
Iranian nukes and other geopolitical issues in the Middle East.
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