[Rushtalk] A Texans solution to liberalism

John A. Quayle blueoval57 at verizon.net
Mon Jun 22 14:17:05 MDT 2015

At 10:08 AM 6/22/2015, Carl Spitzer wrote:
>-------- Forwarded Message --------
>From: TxForce OBrien txforce707 at gmail.com [2ampd] 
><<mailto:%22TxForce%20OBrien%20txforce707 at gmail.com%20%5b2ampd%5d%22%20%3c2ampd at yahoogroups.com%3e>2ampd at yahoogroups.com>
>   Cowboy Rules
>I really like the gasoline part at the end!!!
>Cowboy rules for: Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma   , Colorado, New Mexico, 
>Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, 
>and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
>1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.


>2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
>3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a 
>pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're 
>gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

         Absolutely. I've driven pickups since 1992 and I live in 
Penn's Woods...........

>4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell 
>like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east 
>and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

         Smells like a barbecue to me.........I like to eat as high 
up the food chain as possible. Slow-moving libs, you'd better watch out!

>5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 
>Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

         $60k for a car is "budget." Conservative Pittsburgh radio 
talkshow host, Jim Quinn drives an $89k Corvette and he'll blow the 
doors off any Lexus.........

>6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. 
>Try to understand the concept.

         We do that here, too, adding "hah yinz doon 'n' at?" John 
DeVoe - am I right or what?

>7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of 
>geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are coming in during a hunt, we WILL 
>shoot it out of your hand.  You better hope you don't have it up to 
>your ear at the time.

         REAL hunters have it on vibrate...........

>8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk.  You really want sushi 
>and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
>9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.  It's a 
>religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
>10.. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, 
>regardless of age..

         REAL men everywhere still do this..............

>11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or 
>you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
>12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, 
>vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and 
>ketchup!  Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati 
>call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

         You forgot that REAL Texans also use Paprika, Ghost chili 
peppers and jalepenoes. REAL Texas chili is hot enough to make your 
dead grandmother gasp.

>13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and 
>served over ice.  You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be 
>cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.


>14. College and High School Football is as important here as the 
>Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang 
>site more fun to watch.

         Same here in Penn's Woods, home of Joe Montana and Joe 
Namath. But, it's also the birthplace of Ken Griffey (both father and 
Moose, Stan Musial and a host of other professional baseball players. 
Even my hometown of Washington (PA) can claim 
as a native son. IMHO, baseball is the greatest game God ever 
invented and you can quote me on that!

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