[Rushtalk] Lunitic Jimmy Kimmel at ABC’s Upfront: ‘Our President Is a Lunatic, and We’re All Gonna Die’

John Quayle blueoval57 at verizon.net
Mon May 28 15:14:18 MDT 2018

*/The left is having a meltdown..........Jimmy should take Prozac. It 
might even make him funny again!/*

On 5/28/2018 1:21 PM, Carl Spitzer {C Juno} wrote:
> *Jimmy Kimmel at ABC’s Upfront: ‘Our President Is a Lunatic, and We’re 
> All Gonna Die’*
> Jimmy Kimmel
> 16 May 20186261 
> <http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/05/16/jimmy-kimmel-at/#disqus_thread> 
>     *Jimmy Kimmel took the stage at ABC’s annual upfront presentation
>     to advertisers on Tuesday and lit into his network’s recent show
>     cancellations, sitcom star Roseanne Barr, and, of course,
>     President Donald Trump.*
> “We have a new slogan this year ABC. Our new slogan is ‘Forward 
> Together.’ Hillary Clinton had a yard sale, and she let us have that 
> for almost nothing,” the late-night host began, in a routine meant to 
> poke fun at the TV network business while advertisers field offers to 
> place their products on the various platforms.
> “Fox needs help. They canceled /Lucifer/ and /The Exorcist/ — they 
> can’t even make a deal with the devil,” Kimmel continued. “Our company 
> is in the midst of negotiations to buy Fox. It seemed like a done 
> deal, and then last week, Comcast, like the surprise ex-boyfriend who 
> shows up on /The Bachelorette/ right before she gets engaged, Comcast 
> shows up and weasels its way into our business. We got 
> peacock-blocked, is what happened.”
> “We have a lot riding on this merger [with Fox]. We can’t lose Fox and 
> [/Grey’s Anatomy/ producer] Shonda Rhimes in one year,” Kimmel said. 
> “She’s an amazing talent who changed the face of this network. She’s 
> now leaving for Netflix. I can honestly say on behalf of everyone here 
> at ABC who worked with her for so long, we hope she rots in hell… 
> We’re very sad. As the old saying goes, ‘When one door closes, you’re 
> fucked.’”
> “So we’re saying goodbye to Shondaland and going headfirst into 
> /Roseanne/-istan with no exit plan,” Kimmel said of Barr, who also 
> entertained the audience at the annual sales presentation with a 
> better-than-expected rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” in front of 
> ABC’s /American Idol/ judges.
> “Our biggliest hit of the year is /Roseanne/ … so everyone who says 
> Hollywood is out of ideas, we’re not. It’s just that one of our new 
> ideas was to Google, ‘What were our old ideas?'” Kimmel continued.
> “No one was expecting /Roseanne/ to be a big hit. But to be honest, we 
> don’t expect any of our shows to be hits. /Roseanne/‘s success proves 
> that the older and crazier you are, the more today’s audience likes 
> you,” he said. “That’s why we’re proud to announce our new show: /Gary 
> Busey Proves 9/11 Never Happened/.”
> Kimmel appeared to turn up the heat on his network with some searing 
> one-liners, that, according to /Entertainment Weekly, /earned 
> <http://ew.com/tv/2018/05/15/kimmel-abc-upfront-jokes/> the ABC 
> funnyman some audible groans from the advertiser-heavy audience. 
> Though he said in a recent interview 
> <http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/05/13/jimmy-kimmel-american-people-enough-trump-bashing/> 
> that he intended to avoid roasting President Trump, Kimmel apparently 
> couldn’t resist.
> “Millennials are not just cutting the cord, they’re eating the 
> placenta,” Kimmel joked. “We’re not the only one doing our greatest 
> hits. Everyone is. /Will and Grace/, /Fuller House/, /Murphy Brown/ — 
> that’s right, CBS knows what millennials want, and they’ll be damned 
> if they give it to them.”
> “I have to admit I’m excited about /Murphy Brown/. It’s refreshing to 
> see anything brown on CBS,” he added to reported 
> <http://ew.com/tv/2018/05/15/kimmel-abc-upfront-jokes/> groans. “We 
> even canceled /Marvel’s Inhumans/. Somehow we managed to have the only 
> unsuccessful project with the word ‘Marvel’ in the title. Ever. It had 
> never been done before.”
> “Nathan Filion is returning to TV, which is great news if you were 
> worried your Aunt Joanne wouldn’t be horny enough this fall,” Kimmel 
> joked before finally bringing his set to an end.
> “We have a new reality dating show called /The Proposal/. Contestants 
> compete to marry someone they haven’t met. I haven’t seen this yet, 
> but it sounds like it isn’t so much a dating show as a thinly veiled 
> sex trafficking operation,” Kimmel said.
> “Our ratings are going down, and our prices are going up. Too bad, eat 
> it,” he said. “Our president is a lunatic, and we’re all gonna die. If 
> this continues, it won’t say R.I.P. on our headstones, it will say K.P.I.”
> */Follow Jerome Hudson on Twitter @jeromeehudson 
> <https://twitter.com/jeromeehudson>/*
> http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/05/16/jimmy-kimmel-at/
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